Look, the TV not working can be pretty serious. Especially if it means Mom will miss her show.

The call me text we’re referring to is the one you may receive while Mom’s en route to the hospital, the one from her concerned neighbor or same-town sibling, or it may even be in the form of a phone call from a medical professional.  

One minute, you’re living your life, sipping on an iced coffee and enjoying some internet scrolling between Zoom calls, and the next—you’re the primary caregiver for a parent. Your how-to manual was lost in the mail, and Google is both your best friend and worst enemy right now. Take a deep breath. You’ve got this (and we’ve got you). As caregivers for our own parents and in-laws, consider the below kid-tested, mother approved.

Step 1: Assess and Assign

Is it an ER visit for a minor tumble? Or is it a code-red, everyone jumps in their car and on the plane moment? Assuming the medical staff caring for your mother will speak with you, establish a single point of contact for medical updates. Assess the severity of the situation before reacting. Doctors will throw out terms like "polypharmacy" and "comorbidities," and you will nod while mentally buffering. It’s okay to ask, “Can you explain that in normal-people language?” If you don’t want the job or you’re unable to do it, now’s the time to bow out.   

Step 2: Connect

Got a sibling? Parent or step-parent? Cousin? Aunt? Kick off the group chat with relevant folks for updates then outsource the outreach and appoint a communications director. You’ll be busy, and sharing updates once, with one person, will reserve your brain power and energy which you’ll need for everything else you’ll be managing. You will need backup, and no, you are not weak for asking. Even superheroes have sidekicks.

Step 3: Align and Assemble

Hospitals have questions. They’ll want to know what you know about mom's medical history, if she has an advanced directive, medical POA, and who her insurance provider is. And if mom needs rehabilitation care, their recommendation will be based on her insurance coverage. In-patient rehab facilities will need all the same info so make copies, physical and digital, and keep ‘em handy. Collect the aforementioned and organize it. No legal docs? Start with the insurance and medical history info and as mom recovers, focus on it then.  

Step 4: Lock it Down

Mom live alone? Ensure it’s locked up and safe. If Home Alone taught us anything it’s that criminals love an empty house, don’t make it easy for them to access it.  

Step 5: Plan

Once there’s an understanding of mom’s condition and the care needed, talk with those involved and align on a plan for what’s next. This is not the time for ego. Caregiving is hard. It’ll be hard on your mom. Hard on your family, immediate and nuclear, and really hard, at times, on you. Determine what’s best for all involved and do that.    

Step 6: Laugh, Because the Alternative is Crying (Which is Also Fine)

There will be absurd moments. Like when your mom insists the thermostat must remain at a tropical 85 degrees in July, or when she swears she’s “never” taken that medication she’s been on for 10 years. Find the humor. It’s a survival tool.

This is a tough gig, but you are not alone. We’re in it together. 

💸Wondering if the money you spend on caring for your parents is tax deductible? Check out the IRS’s Caregiver FAQ’s.

🏦An executive order signed by President Trump this week mandates that the federal government stop sending paper checks for any payments, including Social Security benefit payments. The change will be effective September 30, 2025. Anyone who currently receives a paper check will need to set up direct deposit of their payments before then to avoid disruption in their benefits.

🥼Geriatric medicine among least popular options for new docs according to the National Resident Matching Program. 

🔥Fireball Whiskey announced they’d give a lifetime supply of their signature cinnamon whiskey to those born prior to 1935. You read that correctly, 90+ years old. That’s a helluva senior discount.

Ever see a product and think “wish I would’ve thought of that”? Enter Be Well’s IV Zip Hoodie and Port IV Zip Hoodie. Designed specifically for those with illnesses requiring long-term intravenous care, Be Well’s products offer easy access and coziness for an infusion day upgrade.