There’s no polite way to say this: when someone dies, their inbox doesn’t. Neither does their Instagram, their Netflix, or that AOL account they only used for online shopping. It’s a strange modern truth - people go, but their digital selves hang around like a bunch of open browser tabs. And if you’re the one left behind, guess who gets to close them? (Spoiler alert: it’s you.) So here’s a gentle guide to dealing with a loved one’s digital life, because grief is hard enough without having to figure out how to log into Dad’s Apple ID.

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Grief is weird. One minute you’re crying over Dad’s favorite mug you painted in the 1st grade, and the next you’re fielding birthday notifications from his Facebook. In the age of online everything, death doesn’t mean delete - it simply means you get to play tech support for a ghost. Lucky you.

When the tears have subsided and you’re ready to tackle the internet’s version of your dad, let’s talk digital footprints. Your dad didn’t just leave behind sweaters and a well-worn recliner. He also left behind email accounts, photos in the cloud, playlists, passwords, and maybe even a LinkedIn page he hasn’t updated since he retired in 2014.

Step 1: Find the Footprint

Start by making a list of Dad’s online accounts. Think: email, social media, banking apps, subscriptions, photo storage, even online shopping sites (yes, that includes the five Amazon carts he never cleared). If he used a password manager, jackpot. That’ll be your Rosetta Stone.

Step 2: Decide What to Keep

Some things are worth preserving - family photos on Google Drive, his Spotify playlist titled “Saturday Pancakes,” or the stamp collection blog he started but never finished. Decide what feels meaningful to keep, and what can be gently let go.

Step 3: Notify and Close

Each platform has different rules for managing accounts after death. Some, like Facebook, allow you to memorialize profiles. Others will require a death certificate to deactivate or access accounts. (Pro tip: scan that certificate, it’ll save you hours.)

Step 4: Watch for the Weird

Keep an eye out for suspicious activity. A dormant email account can become a hacker’s playground. If you can’t access it, request closure from the provider. Better safe than spammed.

Step 5: Talk About It

Someday, this’ll be someone else’s job for you. Make it easier for them. Keep a simple list of your own digital accounts and instructions tucked away with your will or better yet, use a password manager and share access with your trusted someone.

Death may be final, but the internet is forever. A little digital tidying goes a long way - for peace of mind, for security, and for letting your person’s story end the way they’d want it to: with care.

Helpful care enablement products we’ve identified and researched so you don’t have to. 

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