Benjamin Franklin said life comes with two guarantees: death and taxes. Had he been around over a century later, when Alzheimer's was first described, we're guessing he would have added a third. Memory care will always cost you. A lot. Consider this our almanac for one of the most expensive calls a caregiver will ever have to make.
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The (High) Cost Of Memory Care
We’re going to rip the band-aid right off on this one. Memory care, a specialized form of long-term residential care designed for those living with dementia, or other memory-related cognitive impairments, is expensive. It costs around $6,160 to $7,900 per month, depending on location and what level of support your mom needs. For a private room in a dedicated memory care facility, costs range from about $5,200 a month in Mississippi to $9,500 in Alaska, and that's before you factor in what's not included in the base rate. Ouch.
Memory care runs higher than standard assisted living, about 15–25% more, because of what it actually takes to run one well: trained staff, secured environments, structured programming, and round-the-clock supervision.
The three biggest variables in what Mom pays are location, room type (private versus shared), and the level of care required. Costs are also rising — memory care pricing increased 6.2% year over year in 2024, roughly double the overall inflation rate. And you’re going to want to sit down for this one. Projections put average costs at $10,000 per month by 2035.
What's actually included in the cost
Most memory care communities, which sometimes operate as a secured wing within a larger assisted living building, bundle a lot into that monthly number. The base rate typically covers:
24-hour nursing staff, supervision, and security
Room and board
Three meals a day, plus snacks
Medication management
Help with daily activities — dressing, bathing, walking, toileting
Daily programming: exercise classes, arts and crafts, movie nights
Housekeeping and laundry
Utilities, cable, and WiFi
Transportation to and from medical appointments (varies by facility)
Want to know what’s not considered a gift with purchase? Expect potential add-on costs for:
Incontinence products
Specialized therapy
Salon services
Dietary-specific meals
Certain outings
Transportation beyond medical visits
Increased level of care as needs progress
Annual rate increases (these are standard, budget them in)
How people actually pay for it
Almost no one strokes one big check. Most families piece it together. Here's what's typically on the table:
Personal savings and retirement accounts — often the first line, but rarely enough on their own.
Medicaid — covers many memory care costs for people who qualify, though asset limits are generally under $2,000, and the 5-year look-back period matters. Start at Medicaid.gov to understand eligibility in your state.
Medicare — very limited support, if any.
VA Aid & Attendance — veterans and surviving spouses may qualify for monthly benefits that can cover nearly half of average facility costs. The VA's benefits page explains eligibility and current rates.
Long-term care insurance — policies vary widely, so pull Mom’s out and read it carefully, assuming she has one.
Home equity — reverse mortgages or selling her home are common paths when other funds run short.
IRS medical deductions — unreimbursed memory care costs above 7.5% of adjusted gross income may be deductible; check IRS Publication 502 for more deets.
Selling assets — including the family home.
Reverse mortgages — not ideal but sometimes the only option.
How to get help understanding Mom’s options
Don’t figure this one out alone. Eldercare Locator can connect you with free or low-cost counselors who know state programs inside and out. The Alzheimer's Association also offers financial planning guidance and a 24/7 helpline. If Medicaid is in play, a certified elder law attorney can be worth the upfront cost, especially given spend-down rules and the look-back period. The crew at Caregiver Action Network built a toolbox and have a help desk for the scoop on dementia resources. If you're starting from scratch, caregiver-turned-author Nicole Smith has been in your shoes with two parents living with dementia. She even wrote a guidebook on it.
Memory care isn’t cheap but a little planning can go a long way. Save yourself and Mom the panic later and plan now if you can.
Pop Quiz
You can’t fail this one. Answers and another quiz drop next week.
Has caregiving taken a toll on your relationships?
Parenting Parents
You said it. This week’s submissions.
"After two times of trying to repeat what I said, I just go with the flow of the response."
"Mom turned a corner, and not for the better."
"I'm grateful for all those that actually care."
"No one said it would be this hard."
"Dad stared at a self-driving car and shook his head. It felt like he was living in 'Back to the Future' right in front of me."
