When your mom moves into senior living, the questions come fast. Who manages her medications? What happens if she falls? Who checks on her at night?
One that likely didn’t make the list? What happens if there’s an active shooter?
Two caregivers in the Gray Monster orbit found out. Consider this a reminder to channel your inner Scout and be prepared. This includes knowing exactly what Mom’s facility will do when something goes wrong.
Jessica Winchell and her mom
ICYMI
🌎 For the first time in human history, people 65 and older now outnumber children under 5 worldwide, according to a new U.S. Census Bureau report, and older adults are expected to account for more than half of global population growth through 2060.
💰 States across the country are expanding support for family caregivers, from paid leave and tax credits to respite care and workplace protections, as policymakers respond to the growing demands on America’s unpaid caregiving workforce.
🔬 Michael J. Fox says scientists are “getting close” to a Parkinson’s cure as his foundation, which has funded more than $3 billion in research since 2000, launches a new $2.5 billion fundraising campaign to keep pushing the science forward.
🎙️ Sandra Bullock joined Amy Poehler on Good Hang for a candid conversation about her experience as a caregiver (44:38) and the realities of showing up for someone you love.
Safety First
Michael Shimbo’s mom lives in a rehabilitation facility in West Virginia. She uses a wheelchair and relies on staff for nursing support and medication management. Michael, founder of Seconds, was living in London, nearly 4,000 miles away, when his sister, who handles most of their mom’s day-to-day care, texted him about an active-shooter alert at the facility.
It was a false alarm. But for however long it took to learn that, his mom’s safety was entirely in someone else’s hands. Michael knew the staff and trusted them. The building was secure.
The experience still raised a question: secure and prepared aren’t necessarily the same thing.
Jessica Winchell, a New York-based media executive, was at Wilmington Hospital in Delaware with her mom, who lives in assisted living and uses a walker, when the loudspeaker announced a shelter-in-place lockdown. The exam room had no lock. She and the nurse tried pushing the patient chair against the door. Too heavy. They wedged two chairs under the handle. Didn’t hold. The nurse tried to remember from recent active-shooter training whether a belt could secure the door. When nothing worked, they turned off the lights, went silent and waited for three hours.
Jessica’s mom couldn’t run, so Jessica started planning how she’d get her onto the floor and behind the chair if someone came in. Eventually, armed officers escorted them out with the other older patients, a slow procession of walkers and wheelchairs.
Understandably shaken, Jessica went home and looked up emergency guidance for people with disabilities. The advice was familiar: run, hide, fight. Sound guidance for superheroes. Two of the three weren’t options for her mom.
You spend an enormous amount of energy on the everyday risks of caregiving: falls, medication errors, wandering, scams. Emergencies can feel remote. Fire. Tornado. Power outage. Flood. Violence. And they are, until they’re not.
Older adults can be especially vulnerable when something goes wrong. Your mom may not hear the alarm. She may not understand the announcement. If she has dementia, she may walk out of a safe room. A wheelchair can’t take the stairs. Oxygen, refrigerated medication and powered equipment create their own complications.
You need to know what the emergency plan actually means for your mom. Find out who’s responsible for emergency preparedness at her facility and ask them to walk you through exactly what would happen if residents had to evacuate, shelter in place or lose power.
Here’s what to ask:
Which emergencies does the facility plan for, including fire, severe weather, power loss, evacuation, and violence?
Where do residents shelter in place, and how are those areas secured?
How does staff move Mom if she uses a wheelchair or walker, can’t use the stairs, or has dementia or hearing loss?
If the building has to evacuate, where does she go and how does she get there?
Who handles her medications, oxygen, records, and mobility equipment during an evacuation?
How and when will you be notified?
If you can’t reach her regular nurse, who is the next call? Get the administrator’s number and any regional or corporate escalation contacts.
When was the last emergency drill?
Most important: what is the specific plan for Mom?
For Medicare and Medicaid-certified long-term-care facilities, emergency preparedness isn’t optional. CMS requires an emergency plan, a communication plan, and training and testing, and facilities must share emergency-plan information with residents and families. Assisted living is regulated by states, so requirements vary.
Unsure who to ask? Start with Mom’s care lead, then the executive director, then the regional or corporate office. For unresolved safety concerns, your state’s Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program can help residents and families navigate complaints. For an immediate threat, call 911.
You already play pharmacist, scheduler, insurance negotiator, driver, and amateur diagnostician. Consider adding safety coordinator to the list too.
Pop Quiz
You can’t fail this one. Answers and another quiz drop next week.
How far do you live from the person you care for?
Parenting Parents
You said it. This week’s submissions.
“My best friend took my mom home from the hairdresser so I could stay and get my hair done.”
“Dad was discharged from his weekly wound-care appointment and got to ring the bell!”
“Mom’s birthday was this week and I told her I’m grateful to be able to help her and my dad.”
“My dad’s pants just randomly fell down.”
“I feel a constant guilt about not being in touch with my mom enough but I know she’s safe.”
