Caring for a parent doesn’t come with a paycheck or a pause button. Whether you're managing meds, juggling appointments, or just trying to keep everyone safe and sane, the costs add up fast (and not just the emotional ones). This week, we’re digging into what family caregiving actually costs and where to look if you need help getting paid for the work you’re already doing.

📤 The House has reintroduced the bipartisan AADAPT Act, aiming to bolster dementia care and education by providing grants for virtual training to primary care providers. With nearly 85% of initial Alzheimer's diagnoses made by clinicians, who are not dementia specialists, this legislation seeks to bridge the knowledge gap, ensuring timely and accurate care, especially in underserved communities.

🧠 The increasing demand for dementia care is contributing to a $340 billion unpaid caregiver crisis. A 10% rise in dementia care hours could add another $62 billion in unpaid labor nationwide, highlighting the growing burden on family caregivers.

🍲 Cooking up connection. A Life Well Fed blends family recipes with reflections on caregiving and Alzheimer's. It’s a reminder that food can do more than feed—it can connect, comfort, and carry memories forward.

Let’s get this out of the way: family caregiving isn’t free. Sure, there’s no invoice on the kitchen table or payment portal on your parent’s forehead, but if you’re helping them navigate the slow-moving obstacle course that can be aging, you’re paying for it in some way. Time. Wages. Your own health. All three.

And the math isn’t pretty.

According to AARP, family caregivers spend an average of $7,242 per year out-of-pocket caring for a loved one. That doesn’t include lost income from reducing work hours, stepping back from a career, or pausing your own life goals, perhaps indefinitely. And when it’s a parent you’re caring for, there’s often an emotional tug-of-war that makes even asking for compensation feel…awkward. It can feel like charging rent to your childhood.

But caregiving is work. Real work. And in many states, it’s possible to get paid for it. The trick? Knowing where to look, and what to ask for. 

While many of the programs below are Medicaid funded, requiring mom to “spend down assets” in order to qualify for support, we’re closely following organizations bringing technology and innovation to the traditional care reimbursement model. The folks at RubyWell are working to support the “missing middle”, guiding those who have too much to qualify for traditional government funded programs yet lack the resources to afford the rising costs of senior care. They do this by helping you get trained and certified as a home health aide, so you can be hired as a paid member of mom’s care team, regardless of her income or assets.

💻 Use BenefitsCheckUp.org Run by the National Council on Aging, this site helps you find local, state, and federal programs mom may qualify for—including ones that offer financial assistance for family caregivers.

📄 Medicaid Self-Directed Care Programs
If dad qualifies for Medicaid, some states let him choose a family member (like you) to be his paid caregiver. Look up your state’s program here.

🎖️ Veterans Benefits
If mom served in the military, the VA’s Aid & Attendance benefit or the Program of Comprehensive Assistance for Family Caregivers may offer financial support. 

📍 State-Specific Programs
Each state is its own caregiver reimbursement maze. Some have robust support for caregivers; others, not so much. This Family Caregiver Alliance map breaks it down by state.

If you’re not sure where to begin, you’re not alone. There’s no central guidebook for caregiving. Most of us are handed the job with zero training, no orientation, and a lot of love. A powerful combo, no doubt, but love alone doesn’t pay for respite care. Want to go deeper? More on Medicaid’s income and asset limits can be found here.

Ask the uncomfortable questions. Track your hours. Apply for help. You’re not being greedy. You’re being responsible. And you deserve support too.

Helpful care focused finds we’ve identified and researched so you don’t have to. 

Humblebrag… we know Jennifer Lopez. Not that J.Lo, but a Jenn Lopez who somehow always knows exactly what to send, exactly when it’s needed.  Don’t have a Jenny from the block in your life? Meet Wellnest.

Wellnest is where to go when someone asks “how can I help?” and actually means it. Inspired by founder Julie Mansfield’s own cancer journey, it’s a beautifully simple way to digitally coordinate meals, updates, donations, and support without drowning in group texts and rogue casserole sign-ups. Because support should feel like a lifeline—not a logistical nightmare.