No adult likes being told what to do, especially by someone whose breakfast, lunch, and dinner they made for 18 years. Now the literal and metaphoric tables have turned.
This week, we’re unpacking the grocery bag with a look at what changes with age, practical ways to make eating well a little easier, and resources that can help when keeping the fridge full gets harder.
ICYMI
💰 CMS says eligible Medicare beneficiaries will receive a one-time $90 rebate toward their Part B premiums in October, with most direct deposits expected around October 8th.
💯 At 65, Raymond Vetuskey is thriving with the kidney his mother donated to him 48 years ago, an organ that has now reached 100 years old and set a longevity record at University of Rochester Medicine.
🔔 Dennis Haskins, the actor who played Principal Richard Belding on Saved by the Bell and its spinoffs for more than a decade, died at 75 after reportedly living with Parkinson’s disease.
😡 A University of Michigan researcher explains how dementia caregiving can magnify sibling conflicts, old hurts, and disagreements about responsibility.
Food for Thought
Your kids are finally old enough to eat more than buttered noodles, and you thought the green bean showdowns were behind you. Now you’re wondering whether Mom can really call coffee and toast breakfast, or whether she’s eaten anything today besides half a yogurt and a handful of crackers.
Turns out, eating can get surprisingly complicated as we age. The National Institute on Aging, part of the National Institutes of Health, says changes in taste and smell can make food less appealing. Some medications can affect taste, cause dry mouth, or reduce appetite. Dental problems can interfere with eating. And some older adults simply start feeling full sooner than they used to.
This is important because nutrition affects a lot more than the number on the scale. The Administration for Community Living says about 1 in 4 older adults is malnourished or at risk of malnutrition, which can contribute to muscle loss, weakness, falls, hospitalization, and loss of independence.
Before you start hiding spinach in the meatloaf or deputizing yourself as the protein police, here are a few ways to help.
Start with what they already eat. If Mom has made eggs and toast every morning for 30 years, work with the eggs and toast. Add some cheese, fruit, avocado, or another easy source of nutrients. Add to what she already likes. A late-in-life chia pudding conversion is probably unnecessary.
Make protein easier. Protein helps maintain and repair tissue and supports muscle as we age. Eggs, yogurt, cottage cheese, beans, tuna, nut butters, milk, nuts, and rotisserie chicken are all relatively easy options. Protein doesn’t need to arrive at dinner looking like a Thanksgiving turkey. A little throughout the day can add up.
Share the plate real estate. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, dairy or fortified alternatives, and healthy fats all bring something to the table. Older adults still need fiber, calcium, vitamin D and other vitamins, and minerals. Frankly, you do too.
Ask what changed. “Mom isn’t eating” tells you something, but there may be a reason underneath it. Does food taste different? Do her dentures hurt? Is she getting full faster? Did a medication change? Is swallowing uncomfortable? Has grocery shopping or cooking become harder?
Think smaller, not necessarily healthier. A huge plate of chicken, broccoli, and brown rice may look terrific to you and completely exhausting to someone without much appetite. Smaller meals and snacks can be easier. Think half a sandwich and soup, cheese, and crackers, yogurt and fruit, peanut butter toast, or an egg and toast.
Turn up the flavor. Like mom’s eyesight, tastes can change as we age. Herbs, spices, citrus, garlic, onions, and other flavors can make food more appealing without automatically reaching for more salt or sugar.
Make it easy. Frozen meals, prepared foods, grocery delivery, pre-cut fruit, yogurt cups, and things that can be grabbed without much preparation are an easy addition. The aspirational salmon and vegetables sitting untouched in the refrigerator aren’t providing much nutrition.
Don’t underestimate company. Meals are social, too. The federal Senior Nutrition Program actually builds socialization into its mission alongside nutrition. In its 2024 survey, 85% of people receiving home-delivered meals said the program helped them eat healthier, and 93% said it helped them continue living independently.
Bring over takeout. Look into a senior center or Meals on Wheels. Sometimes Dad eats better when lunch comes with company and a little convo.
Sometimes a change in eating is just that: a change in eating. Other times, it can point to something else, from medication side effects and dental issues to depression, swallowing problems, or cognitive changes.
A few changes worth sharing with her doc:
Unintentional weight loss or noticeably looser clothes
A sudden or persistent loss of appetite
Regularly skipping meals or eating very little
New difficulty chewing or swallowing
New or significant changes in taste or smell
Ongoing weakness, dizziness, or signs of dehydration
Difficulty shopping for, preparing, or physically eating food
You don’t have to overhaul decades of dining habits. Stay curious about what’s changing, make things easier where you can, and don’t put a fork in this topic quite yet.
Need a little extra help getting food on the table? Meals on Wheels can connect you with local meal delivery. Eldercare Locator can help find senior meal programs and other nutrition support in Mom’s community. Lower-income adults 60+ may also qualify for the USDA’s Commodity Supplemental Food Program, which provides monthly food packages, or the Senior Farmers Market Nutrition Program, helps eligible lower-income older adults buy fresh fruits and vegetables at participating farmers markets and farm stands.
Pop Quiz
You can’t fail this one. Answers and another quiz drop next week.
Has caregiving changed your relationship with your parent?
Parenting Parents
You said it. This week’s submissions.
"Some days caring for my parents feels exhausting; other days I catch a glimpse of who they’ve always been and feel unbelievably lucky."
"Found out my brother has been stealing from our dad. For years."
"Mom remembers exactly what I wore to prom but not where she put the paperwork I asked her about yesterday."
"My parents have enlisted the help of my college-aged sons to buy them cannabis gummies."
"Celebrating Dad's 84th birthday today!"
"Dad still gives me directions to places I’ve been driving to for 20 years."
