Remember the 80’s show Family Ties? Caring for aging parents is basically the reboot, only less entertaining. Alex P. Keaton’s got a spreadsheet for Mom’s meds and big ideas about his inheritance. Mallory ghosted the family group chat. Jennifer and Andy aren’t sure where they fit in (and honestly, neither are you).
Whether you’re wrangling siblings or doing it solo, caregiving is complicated, emotional, and feels a lot more like a made-for-TV movie than a sitcom. But there’s a way through it without losing your mind or your sense of humor. Let’s get into it.
ICYMI (in case you missed it)
🫂It takes a (Dutch) village. Hogeweyk was the world's first dementia village, founded in 2009 is an environment designed specifically to help people with severe dementia feel safe and free and live as normal a life as possible.
🏡A tough but important read from The Guardian looks at how some families are paying sky-high prices for assisted living, only to find care that’s subpar at best. It’s a reminder that being an advocate for your loved one doesn’t end when the moving truck pulls away.
🤖AI companion pilot program launches in New York. A new initiative introduces "Joy," an AI-powered virtual companion designed to assist the elderly with daily interactions, medication reminders, and cognitive exercises. The program aims to alleviate caregiver stress and combat senior loneliness.
💪Samantha Bryant, a 37-year-old from Texas, faced a pivotal moment when she couldn't assist her mother after a fall. Determined to be a better caregiver, she embarked on a health journey, losing over 100 pounds in a year. Her story, shared on TikTok, has inspired many, emphasizing the lengths caregivers go to support their loved ones.
Family Ties and Loose Ends
Caring for aging parents isn't always a heartwarming montage set to a piano soundtrack. It’s real life, complicated, and often happening between siblings who don’t always get along… or, sometimes, happening without siblings at all.
Maybe you’re lucky and your family clicks into place like a well-rehearsed pit crew. (If so, congratulations — bottle that and sell it.) But most adult children end up juggling resentment, guilt, old wounds, and wildly different ideas about “what Mom needs right now.” Some siblings don’t speak. Some have been out of the picture for decades. Some were never really in the picture to begin with.
And if you’re an only child? Welp, you’re the whole committee.
Start Where You Are, Not Where You Wish You Were
You don't have to heal decades of family dysfunction to figure out a care plan. You just need clear communication, basic ground rules, and a willingness to stay (mostly) sane.
If you have siblings (even semi-functional ones):
Set up regular check-ins, even if it's just a group text. Spreadsheets, calendars, and shared notes can keep everyone aligned without needing endless debates. We like the idea of digital tools for organizing info assuming a subscription fee is worth your collective peace.
Focus on logistics, not ancient history. “Mom needs a ride to the cardiologist” is the topic not “Remember when you licked my birthday cake in 1987.”
Accept that consensus isn’t always possible. Someone has to make a call sometimes and it won't always be unanimous.
If you’re flying solo:
Flying solo doesn’t mean flying blind. Build a pit crew from whoever’s willing to hold the wrench. You still need a support network — just a different kind. Build your "care team" from neighbors, friends, volunteer organizations, professional care managers, or local services. You don’t have to do it all alone, even if it feels like it.
Good places to start:
Family Caregiver Alliance offers practical guides, online support groups, and help finding local services.
AARP's Caregiving Resource Center has tons of free resources, checklists, and legal planning advice.
Unequal Isn't Always Unfair
In caregiving, “fair” rarely means “equal.” One sibling may live close by and manage daily appointments; another may live across the country and offer financial help. One might be emotionally present; another might go dark when things get real.
It’s easy to fall into resentment, especially if you feel like you’re carrying more than your share. Try focusing on what’s possible, not what’s perfect. If you need more from a sibling, ask clearly and specifically (preferably without leading with “you never help”). If they still won’t step up, it’s okay to adjust your expectations and move forward without them.
Pro Tip: Family mediators can help when emotions block logistics.
You Can't Pour from an Empty Cup
Caregiving is a marathon. And sometimes it’s an obstacle course where someone keeps moving the finish line. Burnout isn’t a sign you’re doing it wrong — it’s a sign you’re carrying too much for too long without support. Common red flags:
Constant irritability
Exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix
Feeling numb or detached
Fantasizing about driving away and changing your name
Take it seriously. Take breaks. Get respite care if you can. Find a therapist or counselor who gets caregiving.
And for the love of everything, have something in your life that is just for you. A hobby. A class. A standing night out with friends. Your parent’s well-being matters and so does yours.
Bottom line:
Families are messy. And at times, caregiving can be even messier. Whether you’re negotiating with siblings or navigating it alone, you don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to do it as honestly, humanely, and sustainably as you can.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. Here’s where to start getting real help:
Call 211 — A free, nationwide resource line that connects you to local caregiving services, food programs, and mental health support.
Visit Eldercare.acl.gov — A government site that helps you find local aging services, care managers, and transportation support.
Reach out to Family Caregiver Alliance — They offer free guides, online support groups, and one-on-one consultations: caregiver.org.
Need a break? Find respite care via ARCH National Respite Network.
Remember, even Alex P. Keaton didn’t have it all figured out, he just had a very detailed plan (and probably a backup spreadsheet or two).
What’s Good
Helpful care enablement products we’ve identified and researched so you don’t have to.
Caregiving can really work up an appetite. MOSH makes protein bars that fuel your brain and fight Alzheimer's. Tastes like a snack, acts like a tiny philanthropist. Every bar sends 1% of your purchase to the Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement at Cleveland Clinic — fueling brain research with a focus on women, because our moms, grandmas, and future selves deserve science (and snacks) on their side. Smart move? Literally.
