Caring for someone living with dementia is hard. The pressure of keeping holiday traditions alive, baking for cookie swaps, and hiding an ill-mannered elf can make it feel nearly impossible. This year, we vote for trimming more than the tree. Smaller gatherings, earlier celebrations, or new low-key traditions still count. We’re giving the white-elephant gift everyone wants — a how-to-do-less list for caregivers.
ICYMI (in case you missed it)
📊 Hospice News reports that how people view family caregiving varies widely across age, gender, and income, shaping who provides care and how supported they feel.
🎂 Hollywood legend Dick Van Dyke joined the centenarian club when he turned 100 years old on December 13th.
🎁 Cleveland.com reports that the Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging is recruiting Alzheimer’s caregivers for a new research study and participants receive a gift card for their time.
💸 Yale School of Public Health highlights new research showing how financial strain weighs heavily on adult caregivers, affecting mental health, physical well-being, and long-term stability.
Caregiving At Christmas
The holidays bring their usual nostalgia — the same stockings, the same dishes, the same decorations that have survived far too much. But when you’re caring for a parent with dementia, the season changes and traditions transition. What once felt grounding may now feel overwhelming. The pressure to make it magical can collide with reality fast.
Still, small familiar moments can spark calm and connection — for Dad and for you. Here’s how to build a holiday that feels doable and still warm.
Adjust expectations (yours and everyone else’s). Holiday traditions may need to shrink or shift. Tell family ahead of time:
What Dad can handle
What will likely overwhelm him
What you can reasonably take on this year
Involve Dad in small, meaningful ways. Think participation, not performance. Familiar scents, sounds, and simple tasks can spark comfort and confidence:
Hang in the kitchen while you bake, maybe even ask him to stir if he’s up for it
Help choose a ribbon or wrapping paper
Sit nearby while you decorate
Familiarize family with what’s changed. Your brother who hasn’t seen Dad in a while is flying in, prepare him. Let him know that memory lapses, repeating questions, or confusion are symptoms. Ask little bro and all holiday visitors to:
Be patient
Avoid correcting
Let your dad finish his thoughts
Respond to tone, not accuracy
You can do this in a short email or text beforehand. It saves everyone a lot of awkwardness and hurt feelings.
Easier to remote in the relatives? Use tech. Connection doesn’t have to happen in the same room:
Send a video holiday card
Bake together over FaceTime
Open gifts on a call
Watch the same holiday movie while texting or chatting
If technology is too much, a simple phone call still goes a long way.
Adapt gift-giving. Skip anything sharp, complicated, confusing or has potential to cause a fall. Opt for:
Cozy clothing (bonus points if it’s adaptable)
Simple music players
Photo books
Sensory gifts (soft robes, familiar scents)
If possible, involve Dad in the giving — even if it’s wrapping something you pre-bought.
Care for yourself too. Holiday caregiving is… a lot. Protect:
Your rest
Your bandwidth
Your rituals
Your health
Do only what you can safely and sanely manage. You may be Santa for your family, but you don't have to carry the entire holiday on your back. A calmer season is not a lesser season, it’s simply a more sustainable one. Want a little support while you scroll? We like Carrie Aalberts’s IG for daily dementia caregiving guidance. Need to talk with someone who really gets it? The Alzheimer’s Association offers 24/7 phone support for caregivers.
What’s Good
Helpful care-focused finds we’ve identified and researched so you don’t have to.
Hilarity for Charity (HFC) is tackling Alzheimer’s and supporting those caring for loved ones living with it. HFC’s work centers around family caregivers — especially younger ones — who often put careers, finances, and personal lives on hold to help.
Founded by Lauren Miller Rogen, and her very funny husband Seth (yes, that Seth Rogen), HLC offers free access to community, education, and respite grants.
Parenting Parents
“Every once in a long while, I see a glimpse of who Mom used to be before all this. Smile!”
“Having to be firm, make sure they take meds, and realizing they fib to you.”
“Mom just passed away and Dad making it about him and not realizing it's my mom too.”
“I wish my mom would just help me out a little bit. I do almost everything and it's really rude.”
“Why does my mother refuse to do anything that's good for her?”
“Mom rented a dumpster and now I'm going to be the bad guy for throwing things away.”
“The highs are really high, and the lows can be rock bottom.”
“I always thought my brother would help since he's a nurse. But he has ghosted me!”
