Am I a caregiver or just a good kid? You may be both. It’s not an either-or scenario. But before we attempt to unpack your only child/eldest daughter/societal expectations guilt, a confession: it won’t be resolved in a single newsletter. 

Keeping in the spirit of transparency, one more admission. The urge to kick off this week with the lyrics to TLC’s 1996 chart topping hit, Creep, was real. And Radiohead's anthem sharing the same name—too tempting. Hard to make it through an article covering caregiver creep without letting our generation show. Especially because caregivers are so <enter expletive here> special (we had to).

🥼 Dr. Ellie Fishbein of @geriatricsinreallife breaks down why dementia can turn words into weapons and how caregivers can respond. 

🦸 Northwestern’s SuperAger study shows that some adults 80+ maintain memory and brain structure similar to people decades younger, revealing biological and behavioral traits linked to cognitive resilience.

🔬 Harvard researchers found that natural lithium in the brain helps protect against Alzheimer’s, and that early lithium loss may trigger the disease—pointing to new ways to detect, prevent, and treat memory decline.

We sat down with fellow family caregiver and Diagnosis Dementia author Nicole J. Smith to talk about the slow, sneaky slide into caregiving. Caregivers come in all shapes, schedules, and group chats. In current society, it leaves people wondering “is this normal adult child stuff or something more?”. If you’re picking up prescriptions, untangling insurance, fixing the Wi-Fi, or keeping one eye on the pill organizer and the other on dinner—you’re in it. Even if no one (including you) says it out loud.

Often, it starts small. You drop off strawberries because they were on sale and Mom loves them. You pick up flowers at the farmer’s market because she always taught you to bring a little brightness. Then one day she asks if you can swing by the pharmacy. Of course, you say. No big deal.

But then… the sink’s full. The trash kinda smells. The TV volume is on full blast and Dad’s calling you because “the internet is broken.”

You stay a little longer. Come a little more often. Always picking up the slack and then some. You tell yourself it’s fine. It’s manageable. It’s just... what you do.

Welcome to caregiver creep. It’s that sneaky slide from helping out to handling it all.

To be clear: this is not a failure on their part or yours. This is how most caregiving begins. One kind gesture at a time, until suddenly you’re managing your parents’ lives while trying to keep your own from unraveling. So, if you’re exhausted and wondering where you land on the caregiving map, we’ve got you covered:

📞 THE HELPLINE CAREGIVER

Dad calls you for every tech mishap. Forgotten password? Weird pop-up? Facebook hacked? You’re basically AppleCare with emotional baggage.

🚗 THE IN & OUT CAREGIVER

You swing by after work to start dinner, throw in laundry, grab the mail, refill meds, and feed the cat. You run a tight ship, and possibly a drive thru.

🧭 THE LONG-DISTANCE CAREGIVER

Your home is far away, but your worry lives close by. Mom swears she’s fine over the phone, but your gut says otherwise. You lie awake wondering if it's time to book a flight or if you’re overreacting. 

📱 THE TECH CAREGIVER

You’ve outfitted the house with wearables, cameras, mats, sensors, dispensers, and maybe even a chatbot named Gloria. But there’s still that little voice wondering if Mom remembered to turn off the stove.

👩‍👧‍👦 THE ELDEST DAUGHTER CAREGIVER

You’ve always been the reliable one. The get-it-done one. And guess what? You’re doing it again. Meanwhile, your siblings are “supporting from afar” (aka sending memes in the group chat).

🏠 THE LIVE-IN CAREGIVER

Your dad moved in “temporarily.” That was three years ago. Now you’re sharing your bathroom, your groceries, your thermostat, and your emotional bandwidth. The buffer between your two worlds is a hallway. You love him. You’d do anything for him. But also? You’d love five uninterrupted minutes in your own kitchen. Co-residing means caregiving on-call, even when everyone’s “fine.” And boundaries? Let’s just say... we’re working on it.

🧾 THE TANGENTIAL CAREGIVER

Mom lives in a facility with trained staff. But who’s scheduling the podiatrist? Reading the Medicare letters? Updating the med list? Handling the dental debacle? Oh right. That’s still you.

No matter your caregiving category or combination of the above, stress, love, and a little guilt are all part of the package.  

You love your people. You want them safe and supported. But sometimes the phone rings, your stomach drops and you’re wondering if this is “the call” or just another spam alert about their expired car warranty.

Either way, caregiving is hard, even when it’s softened by love. And especially when it’s invisible to everyone but you. That’s why a support system isn’t a luxury—it’s life support. Find your people and ask for help. Here’s a good place to start.

Helpful care-focused finds we’ve identified and researched so you don’t have to. 

Juggling kids and aging parents? In need of a place to talk about it? Daughterhood’s Sandwich Caregiver Connection Circle on August 14 at 12 PM EST is your pit stop—a judgment-free zone to vent, connect, and swap the isolation for a little solidarity. Added bonus, our pal Nicole J. Smith is leading this week's sync.