Before you set your sights on Thanksgiving, November has another occasion worth celebrating: National Family Caregivers Month. And while we can't take credit for that extra hour of sleep last night, we do appreciate the timing.

Our contribution? A few useful resources to help lighten the caregiving load.

🎬 Actor Patrick Stewart, beloved for Star Trek and X-Men, has died at 86 after privately living with Alzheimer's disease and Lewy body dementia.

💸 Family caregivers now spend an average of $11,508 a year out of pocket, a 59% increase since 2021, according to new AARP research.

🏃 At 83, Dave Obelkevich is preparing for his 51st New York City Marathon and 116th marathon overall, having completed every five-borough NYC Marathon since 1976.

🤍 The Social Security Administration explains what surviving spouses need to know about survivor benefits, including eligibility, payment amounts and how to apply.

🏠 As demand for senior living grows and new construction slows, competition for existing communities is heating up, potentially affecting availability and costs for families exploring care options.

This year’s National Family Caregivers Month theme is Care Connects Us, so here’s the phone numbers, groups, and tools that help. Nearly all of it is free. All of it is more useful than the leftover Halloween candy, and only slightly less satisfying.

If you need a human on the phone:

Caregiver Action Network runs a free Caregiver Help Desk staffed by caregiving experts. Call, email, or live chat weekdays from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. ET. It's a good first call when you don't know who the right call is.

Dementia caregivers have a 24/7 option: the Alzheimer's Association helpline. Yes, including at midnight. 

Not sure who to call at all? The Eldercare Locator connects you to your local Area Agency on Aging, the office that knows what help exists in your town: support groups, respite, meals, rides.

If you want people who get it:

Find the group built for your exact situation. Everything here meets online.

Caring for someone with dementia: Hilarity for Charity, Seth Rogen and Lauren Miller Rogen's Alzheimer's nonprofit, runs free Zoom and phone groups led by social workers, matched to your schedule and situation, from adult kids to spouses to Spanish speakers.

Caring for an aging parent: Daughterhood Circles are free virtual meetups led by trained caregivers, open to sons, spouses, and anyone else despite the name. Keep your camera off and listen if that's all you've got in you.

Caring for a spouse or partner: The Well Spouse Association runs Zoom peer groups for partners of people with any chronic illness or disability, led by volunteers living it too. Membership kicks in after your first meeting, but they've never turned anyone away for lack of money. 

Caring for someone with cancer: CancerCare's free 15-week groups are led by oncology social workers and run as a private message board. Post at 11 p.m. if that's your only free hour. 

Caring for someone with a mental health condition: NAMI Family Support Groups are free and run by people whose own family members live with mental illness. Many local chapters meet on Zoom. 

Caring for a veteran or service member: The Elizabeth Dole Foundation's Hidden Heroes Caregiver Community is a private, vetted online community for military caregivers of every era. 

Black and LGBTQ+ caregivers: Family Caregiver Alliance runs an online African American Caregiver Support Group on Tuesday afternoons and a monthly virtual LGBTQ+ caregiver group.

If you'd rather listen first:

Not ready to talk in a group? Caregiver Action Network is hosting a webinar series all month. Two worth blocking an hour for: Nov. 3, on juggling work, family, and caregiving at the same time, and Nov. 17, on navigating caregiving that lasts years. Both run 1 to 2 p.m. ET. 

If you're home for the holidays:

The holidays are often the first time in months the whole family sees Grandma in person. Someone notices she's lost weight. Someone else spots the pile of unopened mail. Then everyone flies home.

Care Out Loud, Bradley Cooper's caregiving campaign, makes free Care Conversation Cards for the talk that should happen before the flights. Pick your situation (aging parents, siblings, a spouse, yourself) and get prompts like "What parts of care could I take on from far away?" Send that one to the brother three states over. 

If the conversation turns to memory, or to a diagnosis that's already on the table, the next step is a plan. The Sandwich Club and Gray Monster built the Dementia Care Planner to help families work out what comes next after a diagnosis, before the next crisis decides for them. 

If you're running on empty:

Respite care means someone else takes over for a few hours or a few days so you can sleep, see your own doctor, or sit in a parked car with a coffee for an hour. Your Area Agency on Aging (find it through the Eldercare Locator above) knows what's available near you. Dementia families can also apply for respite grants from Hilarity for Charity.

If the holidays are pulling you somewhere darker than tired, call, or text 988. Anytime.

You said it. This week’s submissions.

"My dad sent me a photo of his omelet from the hospital raving about it. Genuinely loved it."

"My life is on hold while caregiving. I feel so trapped."

"Trying to convince my mom that planning can be helpful for all of us... not been successful."

"Made calling my mom a renewed priority. She's on the front lines with Dad and is helpless."

"Watching my dad perk up and get moving in rehab gave me hope that he is coming home."

"Mom and dad both doing a lot better after I figured out problems with their meds."

"I haven't spent enough time with my parents lately. But I've really needed time for just me."