If caring for your parents has you sweating like a pro athlete in overtime, call it Game 6 and you’re Michael Jordan. We’re your  coach, here to help you play smart and bring home the W. Before you lace up, take a minute to understand the game: who’s on your team, what winning looks like for everyone, and how each player’s moves impact the scoreboard.

Let’s get something straight: there’s no one-size-fits-all “best care”, especially when it comes to Mom getting a little older. The best care is the one that works for your family’s mix of needs, budget, time, and values. This week, we take on Area Agencies on Aging and talk through what plays they’re calling and who’s on their roster.

💬 John Hancock’s new Longevity Preparedness Index, created with input from our friends at the MIT AgeLab, found that while Americans expect to live longer, most aren’t ready — financially or emotionally.

🎬 Winner of the 2025 Tribeca Festival’s Untold Stories award, Take Me Home follows a Korean adoptee with a cognitive disability who cares for her aging parents as the family learns what it really means to look after one another.

🗳️ Texas voters will decide whether to approve Proposition 14, a $3 billion plan to create the Dementia Prevention & Research Institute of Texas.

Quick history lesson: the Area Agencies on Aging (AAAs) were created by Congress in 1965 under the Older Americans Act to be a neutral resource hub. Their mission: help older adults and caregivers figure out what’s out there, free or low-cost, public or private, so people can make informed decisions. Services often include home-delivered meals, transportation, case management, caregiver support, benefits counseling, legal assistance, and more.

Because AAAs operate with public funding and oversight, their incentive is not to sell you anything. They don’t get commission when you choose Provider A over B. Their job is to help you map the full terrain. That makes them especially powerful early in the decision process, before stress and urgency push you into whatever is easiest or available now.

Want to know what services are available for your team? Check out Eldercare Locator or call them at: 1-800-677-1116. 

Many families will still need paid services. In-home care workers, home health aides, private care managers, assisted living facilities, and private agencies can provide flexibility, consistency, or services not offered by public programs. The benefit: Mom often gets more options, higher levels of care, or quicker start times, depending on local supply.

What’s lost  is neutrality. A private caregiver or agency may rely on contracts, staffing availability, or business models that shape which clients or services they prefer. Some offer premium services like companionship, care coordination, or even private safety technology that public offerings don’t cover. But they might also encourage upsells or lock Mom into costly packages.

The game  isn’t to pit AAAs vs. paid support; the goal is to combine them wisely, leveraging the unbiased guidance of AAAs and layering paid support for what the public systems can’t (or won’t) fill.

Okay, so does Medicare cover paid care? With open enrollment upon us, many families enlist a broker or agent to help understand Medicare and Medicare Advantage (MA) plans. But full transparency: these brokers are compensated by the insurers whose plans they sell. The Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) sets a maximum “fair market value” (FMV) commission that insurers can pay.

For 2025, for example, the national maximum initial commission for a new MA contract is $626 per enrollee and renewal is capped at $313 per year (half the initial rate).  Some states have higher caps (e.g. California, New Jersey). The idea is to compensate brokers fairly for effort, without creating incentives to push one plan over others simply for money.

However, the system isn’t perfect. In 2024, CMS attempted to broaden the definition of “compensation” to include administrative payments (things like enrollment support, marketing) to close loopholes around hidden incentives. But courts have stayed parts of that rule pending litigation. Meanwhile, CMS prohibits agents from steering, misleading, or pressuring beneficiaries into a plan.

In practice, this means a broker has a financial interest in which plan you choose (so long as it doesn’t exceed the FMV cap). That doesn’t mean they’re bad, most are ethical and helpful, but it does underscore why non-biased information upstream (looking at you AAAs) matters. 

Like any good teammate, we pulled together a list of questions to consider asking before you build your game plan.

Helpful care-focused finds we’ve identified and researched so you don’t have to. 

You know who’s really good this week? Our pals over at Care Out Loud. And not just because they give great gifts. They’re sharing their generosity with Gray Monster readers and giving away free Calm Health subscriptions.

From 3-minute breathing exercises to sleep stories read by familiar voices (hi, Matthew McConaughey), it’s like a reset button in your pocket.

Folks can redeem the app (no credit card required) at wecareoutloud.org under the “Handy Resources” section. Access will be free until Sept 2026.

You said it.

“I feel like between my job, my family, and my pet, I’m always taking care of someone else.”

“Cringing as the medical staff talks high pitched baby talk to my mother with dementia.”

“At a place where I am checked out by my dad’s disrespect and have compassion fatigue."

“My aunt was diagnosed with dementia and I’m her default person (my mom doesn’t care). I’m so sad and angry.”

“I can’t pull away from my cell phone easily. Always waiting for updates.”